A Note on Oversensitivity

In America right now we encounter many different belief systems,
values, moral codes lifestyles, orientations and what have you.

It is imperative to then be sensitive to others
because your code may not coincide with another person's way of life.

Who are we to stereotype or to tell others how to believe?

This is a pluralistic nation and we only have the right to speak
if it aligns with the tolerant views our society has set forth.


So the lie goes.

I believe that we are in a dangerous state
when a citizen cannot voice their opinions
without being scrutinized or labeled by others.


We have lost the ability to critically read and examine the form of art that we know as language.


And it is in tolerance that we lose our freedom.

Our right to dissent.

The things the writer may say may be unpopular to many,
however we must refrain from making judgments too quickly,
and look deeper into the meaning of the article being presented.


As an example of this I will break down a recent article line for line to determine if it is, in fact, a stereotypical or sexist commentary.


To all the sensitive guys out there,


This statement is addressed to the target audience, in this case the guys who tend to be more artistic, soft-spoken, or are just all around nicer.


I want to say that I extend my sincerest sympathies to you for having been born the way you are. For feeling things deeply, for caring about people beyond their surface value, for being trusting and naive. You truly are an incredible and unbelievable creation.


A sarcastic statement aimed at the root of the problem with sensitive guys, and that is their feelings. Because they are made this way they are more prone to heartbreak and believing lies.


Let me also apologize to you in this letter.


You will never be understood or appreciated for the times you bring your girlfriend flowers or tell her she is beautiful. Or how bout the times when you are there for her to listen to her problems? Don't expect a thank you or respect for the man you are, because sadly you are not edgy enough for the new American woman.



This statement makes reference to the new mentality that is common on campuses and in high schools today. Society has told girls that it is their turn to turn around and to get what they can out of the guys who have used them and treated them badly. Girls owe it to themselves to avoid the heartbreak of being used by becoming the "users" if you will. Sadly enough oftentimes in this situation it is the sensitive caring guys who end up being taken advantage of rather than the jerks. Why? Because they are more prone to do what they can to make their lady feel like a princess. The jerks could care less about a girl's feelings.



You see because you appreciate things like art or musicals or shopping somehow this makes you less of a man than the stereotypical weightlifting, car-fixing, brainless jock.



A statement of disdain towards the American mentality thrust upon guys in society today. The artsy guys are told that unless they let their muscles (and other body members) do their thinking rather than their brains then they are somehow deemed less manly than other guys.



Just because you don't treat a woman poorly and expect them to worship you this becomes a basis to rule you out. Just because you aren't obsessed with the idea of casual sex and the idea of hooking up with women while drunk; and just because you do not enjoy strip clubs as a recreational activity does not make you any less of a man, no in fact it makes you more of a man!



Again another commentary on the "jock" mentality of guys in America today. It is calling out the guys who do these things to women. It is wrong for a guy to treat a woman poorly. It is wrong for a guy to hook up just because the crowd says its OK. This is the author's opinion. The bottom line on this statement is that the sexualization and objectification of women in today's society is completely uncalled for and that guys who go against the flow have more character than guys who conform.



But let me tell you this right now sensitive guys, if that is what women are truly looking for in this life then I say let them have it and settle for nothing substantial. Your road will be a lonely and dark one in search of love but it is better to be alone than to be manipulated, used and take for granted by a woman who does not appreciate your gifts and talents and your caring nature.



For a guy who tries to act with character and integrity our sexualized society is an extremely lonely place. Many women conform to the status quo because they do not believe there is any alternative. Many of them step on sensitive guys because in this society we have promoted a survival of the fittest mentality. As a result those who are sensitive are trod upon whether intentionally or unintentionally. Sadly.
A sensitive guy is, in fact, much better without love if the relationship is that of manipulation and the sensitive guys should realize this fact.



Be a true man.

Pursue things that interest you and that you find happiness in doing because when you give up everything to try to change into something that the person you are dating wants you to be you will end up living a lie, and you will be used until you are not of use anymore. You will be kicked aside when your significant other pursues new and more exciting endeavors and you are left alone, a hollow shell of a person who has tried to put on a new mask.



Many sensitive guys try to change for the person they love out of the principle of love itself. Unfortunately they deny their true selves by doing this and in that process become less appealing to the woman they are in fact changing for. When the woman finally leaves them they will be left realizing how fake they truly have become by trying to be something they are not. Admittedly it was out of good intention, however;

"The highway to hell is paved with good intentions."

The sensitive man will be ok in the end if he pursues his interests, unashamedly and the right woman who will appreciate this guy for who he is will come. But it is up to the guy to take the first step of being confident and proud of who he is.



You are worth more than that.

The saying is that it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all....

I say that whoever wrote that had no concept of what they were saying.

I cannot think of one productive thing that has come from lost love other than you learn to handle and cope with more pain than you can ever imagine feeling before.


This statement has bias in it. The author perhaps has personal experience in the matter that has warped and molded his views, bias is not bad in an article. It gives us strong feelings and opinions towards a certain issue. However the critical reader must look for the important information, discern bias, and make their assesment based on their conclusion.


Take my advice guys:

In this life always be hesitant to love and always look for hidden motives.

Live your life by these principles and you will spare yourself heartbreak and root out the fake and the insincere.


A cautionary note to guys who haven't yet had their hearts broken. This statement warns against putting their heart first and wearing it on their sleeve. Once you give another your heart they can do with it what they want and you will be on the recieving end of whatever they give. Being skeptical of love helps discern what is true love and what is temporary.
Love is thrown around casually in our society today, oftentimes it is used to achieve an end. Some guys/girls use it to get sex or things or status, a sensitive guy by his very nature is going to believe what he is told without question. To avoid this he must be skeptical and questioning.



I wish you well in this life. Lord knows that society has made it hard enough for you.

Signed,

Another Sensitive Guy





Now ask yourself:

When you read this did you read it critically?

Did you break it down and contemplate the actual meanings behind the writing?

Or did you only read and percieve what you wanted to percieve?

Did you place bias there in your mind purely because you did not agree with the ideas presented here?

Is this article really truly a basis to take offense?

Is the author writing the article to be deliberately malicious, or is it just an opinion?

Ask yourself questions like these more often and you may be surprised that your initial impressions are not at all what is communicated.

There will be many things placed online that have deeper meanings than the first read, and if you are not in the habit of carefully analyzing what the author's intent is behind certain articles then you might just be taken for a ride.